When I woke up this morning I was kind of confused why I was in my room because the last thing I remembered was I was outside with my dad on the front porch. I then realized that after I fell asleep he carried me to my room. I think the reason to why he had me and him sit on the front porch so long is he knew I would eventually fall asleep sitting with him. I have fallen asleep many times that way before when I was younger. Also he knew if he would have just sent me down stairs to go to bed when he just told me what had happened I would have been up all night thinking.
Luckily it was Saturday because it was one in the afternoon when I woke up.
I went upstairs and Rose was watching a movie and there was a note on the counter. My parents and TJ went to make funeral arrangements. Also there was money for me to pay Sadie for watching Rose while I slept.
After I walked Sadie to the door I realized that the snow has not been shoveled yet. Since I knew it wasn’t going to get done, I figured I might as well get it done so mom and dad could pull into the driveway when they get home.
“Rose, how would you like to play I the snow while I shovel?”
“Yeah!!! I want to make snow angels.”
“Let’s go get your snow clothes on.”
While I was putting on Rose’s snow clothes, Rose caught me by surprise asking, “Shay, how come mommy and daddy look so sad? Is their hearts broken?”
I paused at looked straight in her beautiful brown eyes. I didn’t know how to answer to help her understand.
“Well…Rose there was an accident. Some bad people blew up Grandma and Grandpa’s big house. There was a lot of fire. Both Grandma’s and Grandpa’s, aunts and uncles, and cousins all died.”
“Are they in Heaven?”
“Yes they are.”
“I will miss them. But ok. I will be happy!”
All I could do is smile at her comment. I couldn’t even correct her on her grammar. She has such a wonderful happy spirit. That is why she is my favorite.
“Can we go play now Shay?”
“Yeah let’s go.”
I started shoveling and I couldn’t believe how much snow there was. There was at least a foot and a half and the ground since mom, dad and TJ left. What made it worse was it was the heavy snow. Not the fluffy, light snow.
I had to shovel my way out of the garage because it was so high and so heavy. I had to walk over all the snow just to put it on the lawn. So basically I was packing all the snow down I haven’t shoveled yet.
In just a half hour Rose wanted to go watch a movie. I put one on for her and then went back outside. In just that half hour of starting I wasn’t even an eighth done with the front. I still had the back to do. The only reason I am doing this is because we have to get it done. From how I feel of learning that all my family got killed, right now I don’t want to be doing this at all.
In about an hour I was about a fourth done with the front. I just couldn’t do it. It’s just all I think about is, why did they have to kill my family?
Tears started coming from my eyes. My body just collapsed right down onto my knees with my hands still holding onto the shovel. The tears fell freely down my face. My hearts was crying out to Heavenly Father asking for his help to get through this. The only thing is I couldn’t find the words. I had nothing. I felt so alone, afraid, sad.
Right then a hand touched my shoulder and I looked up and it was all the seminary teachers from my school. They all brought shovels with them.
“Shayna, your dad called and told us what happened. He said he wouldn’t be able to come in this week. He wanted us to all check on you to see if you were alright and hanging in there. He also wanted us to tell you that they took TJ with them. Are you ok?” said Brother McNally.
I looked into his eyes and locked back down and shook my head. “I don’t know. I just don’t know.”
The others took their shovels and started shoveling the yard. Brother McNally helped me stand up and we walked into the garage and sat down and talked.
“I just don’t get it Brother McNally, did we do something wrong for this to happen? Do you have someone that wants us dead because of what my dad did years ago? Why?”
“Your dad didn’t want you to know this until you were in college or married so that you wouldn’t have to worry. When your parents decided to adopt Rose, they knew there would be trouble coming a couple years later. Rose’s dad used to be in a gang when he was your age. But then he met this girl who soon later became his wife. She changed his life around. He dropped out of the gang, started going to church again, eventually got married in the temple and started having a family. The one thing was is that if you dropped out of the gang they usually would kill you and all related to you. They shot them but they knew they missed hitting Rose. They soon found out that your parents took her in so they were trying to get her still and that is why your dad has been so protective all of these years. He couldn’t watch Rose going to a foster home. That is why he took her in. He wants to be sure that you guys are safe.
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This week has gone by so slow. I have gone to school every day this week. It’s as if my life shut down. I just can’t seem to talk to anyone…especially my friends. They try to talk to me but I just seem to stare into space as if I didn’t notice them talking to me. I guess the best way to explain it, is as if my life has frozen in time.
Even my most favorite class this week which is seminary isn’t the same either. I go but just can’t stay there. I seem to spend most my time in the hall.
“Brother McNally? What’s wrong with Shayna? She won’t talk and she doesn’t seem to be here. I mean…” said her good friend Krystal.
“I understand. She’s here but she is not here as herself. As you have heard about what happened to her family. Well it’s really affecting her. She’s in shock. The best thing we can do is be there for her and talk to her. Even if she seems like she’s not listening she really is.”
One of her class mates Katie raised her hand and said, “Let’s do something for her. Let’s do a fundraiser and help her family with funeral expenses or for whatever.”
“Great idea Katie.” The bell rang…”Class your excused.” said Brother McNally.
Brother McNally walked over towards me after all the students left the class. He sat down on the floor next to me.
Shayna, I know this is hard but just remember Families are forever. No matter how or what happens we will always be together with our families. They are up in Heaven watching over you and your family right this minute.
Brother McNally got up and started walking away.
I then realized that what he said was true. I stood up and said, “Brother McNally. Thank you.” I ran over to him and threw my arms around him and gave him a hug. Those words that he said to me meant so much. It helped me remember what I have always believed in since Rose came to my family.
After this hard week I finally was starting to act myself. Yes, days were harder than others but since I knew that I will always be with my family it didn’t hurt as much. I kind of feel back to my normal self.
